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by starspangledpumpkin
Summary: You know, nobody really brings up the fact that Hermione had to be on her period while the trio was on the run. Which probably sucked a lot.


**Space Address**: D4 - Blood

**Word Count**: 1083

**Warnings**: I guess period stuff can make some people queasy.

~o0o~

"I don't know about this Hermione," said Harry.

Under normal circumstances, she would have agreed. Unfortunately, they were down to their last five pounds and wizard markets didn't exactly have a feminine hygiene products section. She needed pads and Midol and she needed them _now_. They had two options: figure out a way to street perform for the money (which in this economy was likely to take ages) or straight up steal and hope the poor sap running the store didn't get fired over a couple missing items.

"You're a good witch," said Ron awkwardly. "Can't you use magic for it? Make a potion? I've got a few nose-bleed nougats."

"You think I haven't tried that?" she snapped. "I've been holding it off for two months, Ron! Any longer and I could cause serious harm to myself. Do you want that?"

"Of course not!" he replied hotly. "I just don't want us to get in trouble with Muggle law too."

"Hermione's done a lot for us," said Harry. "Least we can do is get her some… stuff."

She rolled her eyes at their inability to call it what it was.

"It's a period, it's perfectly natural," she huffed. "It's just inconvenient when you're on the run. Now, let's run through this one last time. Harry, you and I are an American couple backpacking around Europe and decided to rent a car rather than take the train, which led to us getting lost. Ron, you do not know us. You're just passing through and shopping. Harry and I will distract the cashier by asking for directions. Ron, I put an undetectable extension charm in this pouch I knitted. You'll just have to press the box to it and it will shrink down. Now, we're only taking what we need and we'll just be in and out."

"What if I grab the wrong thing?" Ron asked. "Wouldn't it be better for you or even Harry to get the stuff?"

Hermione felt her ears grow warm at the thought of her and Ron pretending to be a lovey-dovey couple, but she shook her head.

"It has to be you," she said. "I'm black and Harry is Indian. If the cashier is white then they will most likely pay more attention to either of us than you."

"I don't get it."

Hermione groaned as her cramps worsened.

"I'll explain subconscious and on-purpose racism in society after we get my things," she said. "Now let's go. We've got this."

"You're awfully certain this will work," said Harry. "Shouldn't we avoid cockiness?"

"I'm not cocky, I'm rightfully confident. Now, let's move out."

Harry and Hermione went first. Hermione took his hand in hers and forced a sunny smile. She only knew one American accent, but she was confident she could pull it off. After all, she saw _Clueless_ three times in the theater and she saw _Heathers_ a couple times at sleepovers, so if she just used that jargon and accent then she should be fine.

They entered the convenience store and Hermione sighed loudly.

"Oh, my God," she said in her American accent. "Isn't this village just very? I'm sooo glad we stopped here to ask for directions."

The cashier, a girl a few years older than them, lifted her head and seemed to play up her accent for the tourists.

"Hello," she said. "You say you're lost?"

"Totally," said Hermione, approaching the counter. "See, we were driving around so that we could stop and take pictures of the sights and I think we took a wrong turn somewhere. Do you have a map?"

"Certainly." She took a map out of the kiosk and opened it up on the counter. "Now where are you two headed?"

She looked up briefly when Ron entered, but didn't pay him much attention. Hermione glanced in the mirror to watch him walk back towards the care products. She really hoped he remembered what to get and didn't just freeze up upon seeing the products. If he ended up buying her adult diapers she was going to levi his corpus from a tree.

"So, we're trying to find Dorset castle," she said. "We came up this way, but I think we took a wrong turn here. This one wasn't keeping his eyes on the road."

"How can I when this gorgeous girl was in the passenger's seat?" Harry replied.

Damn that was smooth. If Hermione held an ounce of attraction towards Harry, she probably would have melted. Still, she smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.

"That is so sweet," she gushed and tapped his nose. "But sweetness doesn't make us any less lost, boo."

"You're right." Harry kissed the side of her head. "You're always right."

"So can you help us?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, okay. I can help." The cashier seemed less enthusiastic as she gave them directions.

Once Ron had queued up behind them, two chocolate bars and the quid in hand, Hermione and Harry thanked the cashier and left. The farmers market had opened, so they perused the stalls while they waited for their friend.

Ron approached them moments later.

"Here," he said, giving her the change from the chocolate.

"Did you get everything?" she asked, paying the stall owner for three apples.

"Yeah."

"Good. Let's hurry back to camp so I can lie on the ground and wish for the sweet release of death."

"Hey, those are weekend plans," said Harry, causing her to laugh.

"You did a very good job convincing her we were in love, by the way," she said. "Very smooth."

"Yeah…" Ron muttered. "You almost had _me_ convinced."

"Well it was easy if I pretended she was Ginny," said Harry. "Though, the accent kinda threw me off. What was that anyway?"

"Rich bitch and valley girl sweetheart," said Hermione with a sheepish grin. "It's the only accent I know how to do."

"Brilliant," said Harry.

Once they were at camp, Hermione nearly jumped Ron.

"Okay, we're here. Give me the stuff."

"Alright, calm down."

"Oh-ho! Don't tell me to _calm down!_" she growled.

He quickly got out the pads and Midol. She saw both were exactly what she needed and she kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you!"

Hermione ran inside the tent to the loo. Magic definitely had benefits, but if she tried to figure out where the water came from she would go crazy.

At least this problem was taken care of so she could focus on the greater task at hand.


End file.
